


Illegal Aliens (Ren in Black)

by hereticalvision



Category: Men in Black (Movies), Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Attempt at Humor, Ben Swolo, Canon-Typical Violence, Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Eventual Romance, F/M, Rating May Change, Slow Burn, Tags May Change, alternative universe
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-23
Updated: 2019-07-24
Packaged: 2020-05-18 10:54:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,783
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19333123
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hereticalvision/pseuds/hereticalvision
Summary: Five-year-old Rey was an ordinary orphan living in London when she met her first alien. Ever since, she’s been chasing the spectre of her encounter with the universe beyond earth – and the Men in Black. Now, aged twenty, she’s finally managed to track them down and wrangle her way in. Nothing can get in her way. Until she meets Agent Ren…





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I saw the new Men in Black film last night and all I could think, the whole way through, was that it’s crying out for a Reylo fusion so here I go! Be gentle, it’s my first fic in years.

Rey was only six years old when she met an alien for the first time. It’s one of her first clear memories, and the one she counts as _the_ first. She prefers to forget shrieking at her parents to come back, the hand of the social worker on her arm—

So, the alien. Rey had never managed to sleep well in the children’s home. It was too cold in winter and too hot in summer. There were too many other bodies moving around, too much sound from the Hackney streets beyond the window, sirens and shouting and the clink of bottles from the pub across the road.

This summer night, the window was open to let in some air. Most of the others could sleep through it but Rey was wakeful as always, too hot and too resentful of the snores of the ones who had managed to close their eyes.

She got up quietly and padded over to the window for a breath of air. A flash of light from the street drew her attention. Mean old Unkar Plutt was on the street, talking to two men in black suits who both wore sunglasses despite the dark night.

‘So your problem was a fox, sir,’ one of the men was saying. ‘The RSPCA came and took it away. Make sure to secure those rubbish bins!’

Rey could only see Unkar’s back, but she could still tell he was a little dazed by the way he stuttered his reply. ‘Right. Sure. Yes.’

‘Have a good night, sir,’ said the man said, before nodding to his partner and heading the short distance to his car.

‘Can’t have got far,’ the other man was saying.

‘We can’t have an unlicensed alien running around! Big O will—’ He was cut off by the car door closing. Rey leaned forward, desperate to see or hear something more.

Then a teddy bear hoisted itself up onto her window sill.

Rey gasped. The teddy looked at her, its eyes wide. As she looked at it, it seemed less like a teddy bear and more like a particularly long-haired dog. But she knew, she was certain, it was neither. It was like the men in black had said. It was an alien.

The bear-dog made a strange moaning sound, seemingly trying to communicate.

‘I’m sorry,’ Rey said quietly, ‘but I don’t understand.’

The thing howled piteously again, and its shoulders slumped. Rey wondered how such a little thing had ended up all alone and wondered if, like her, it had been left behind. The look in its eyes was pure loneliness. She could relate.

The car outside hadn’t pulled away. Instead, the occupants were flashing a torch along the street, obviously looking for Rey’s new friend.

‘Quick!’ she said, keeping her voice as low as she could. ‘We’ve got to get you out of here!’

She held out her arms and, after a moment, the bear-dog jumped into them. She cuddled him close and scuttled down past the other beds to the hall, along to the bathroom which faced the back alley instead of the front main road.

‘Here,’ she said, placing it on the window sill and opening the window a crack. ‘If you go out this way, they’re less likely to find you.’

The creature made an expression Rey thought might be a smile and half-howled, half-mewled at her. Rey tried to imitate the sound as best she could and the creature smiled again. And then it was off, out the window and down the road.

Rey repeated the last sound it had made a few more times, before returning to her bed and trying to get some more sleep.

 

 

The problem with having learned at such a young age that aliens were real was that the only other people who knew it were a shadowy, secretive organisation who were noted only for wearing black. She could have been describing goths, waiters or undertakers – it wasn’t exactly distinctive. Which, she supposed, was the point.

Ever since that night, Rey had been obsessed. As a youngster in the nineties, there had been plenty of brooding, paranoid conspiracy theories for her to devour, so she had. She had read everything she could get her hands on about UFOs, alien abductions, government conspiracies. Plutt had plenty of tabloids around so she never lacked for new, ridiculous material. She had to be sneakier about late night television, but she managed to watch all of the X-files and took copious notes, deeply regretting that as she was British, she’d never be able to join the FBI. Then she discounted that possibility; there was no way the FBI would have allowed a programme about them investigating aliens to be on TV if they were the ones _actually_ investigating aliens. Right?

Her teachers noticed her odd interests and hoped she’d grow out of them. She never quite did, although she did learn to hide the odder aspects from the people around her. That wasn’t difficult: Plutt didn’t care, the other kids at the home came and went, and the kids at school laughed at her for believing in aliens. So she focused on school, particularly science and languages. The school didn’t have much in the way of resources, but for a savvy, technically-minded young person such as Rey, there were plenty of old bits of equipment which could be repurposed. She had built her first telescope by the time she was nine.

She excelled all through secondary school. Before she knew it, she had been accepted with a scholarship to a very prestigious astronomy programme at eighteen, and off she went.

When she found the Men in Black – and she _would_ find them – she was going to make herself goddamned indispensable.

 

 

On the same night Rey was moving in to student halls of residence, Ben was at the top of the Willis tower.

‘I understand it’s very romantic,’ he said to the sweet young couple who had been making out a moment before he got there. ‘But the problem is, we’ve had a warning for an incoming inter-dimensional rift and so we really have to insist that you take the elevator down immediately.’

‘I’m sorry – I don’t – who exactly are-?’ the boy stuttered.

Ben sighed, and got out his neuralyzer with one hand, slipping his dark glasses on his eyes with the other. ‘If you just look here for a second,’ he said, holding it up, ‘everything will become clear.’

FLASH. ‘The tower was closed so you decided to go have a drink somewhere else instead. Have a good evening.’

The couple blinked, shook their heads and walked past him, dazed.

Ben looked around, checking there was no one else present who shouldn’t be.

‘Just you and me now, kid,’ said Han Solo.

Ben gritted his teeth. He loved his father, of course he loved his father, but the man was far too much of a loose cannon to be running the Chicago branch of MiB. He could shoot, but he could neither plan nor even wear the suit with the requisite class.

That Ben would rather have him miles out of harm’s way was something he wouldn’t admit to himself, of course.

Han was staring into the sky above Lake Michigan where a blue crackling light was beginning to appear, if you knew what to look for.

‘Force lightning,’ Ben said.

‘Is he here?’ Han asked.

Ben looked at his father, startled. Han avoided any mention of the strange powers Ben had been imbued with as much as possible. ‘I’m not sure,’ he replied. ‘I’ll know when the rift opens.’

The lightning was gaining strength. ‘Fair enough,’ Han said, pulling out his plasma gun. Ben followed suit. ‘Intelligence is all very well, but you know how I like to face down threats to Earth.’

Ben laughed. He did know. ‘With nothing but your wits and a HL 44 De-Atomizer.’

Han grinned, all reckless joy, as the sky blazed pure white and the rift opened.

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank to everyone who commented so far, and especially Hanable for pointing out an oops I have fixed! Hope you enjoy this short update, next chapter should be longer.

Rey didn’t bother going to her graduation ceremony. That kind of thing was for people with parents and friends, not orphans who spent all their time on the dark web chasing UFO rumours. It was for students who’d spent their studying years socialising and joining teams, not scrapbooking _Weekly World News_ stories about the latest alien sightings. The important thing was the certificate in her hands, and the three years of hard work they represented.

And yes, Rey was top of her class and it was sort of expected that she’d make a speech on the day. But she didn’t really have anything to say that wouldn’t make her sound like a lunatic, and she was getting quite enough of those looks in her job interviews.

‘I’m sorry, you want to work for _which_ department?’ the Police had said. ‘What on earth are you on about?’

‘Miss, I’m not sure you’ll pass our health checks,’ said the Army recruiter. When she had protested, he’d cleared his throat and stressed, ‘Our _mental_ health checks.’

The Civil Service had been even clearer: ‘You’re off your trolley, pet. You might be a clever clogs but you’re also barking mad.’

In short, Rey’s career in alien investigations was not off to the best start. Until it came together, she was feeding herself by picking up bits and pieces of programming work, making the most of the gig economy. It allowed her to work from home and continue the search she’d been pursuing for so long – the search she just knew was going to finally pay off.

An alert beeped on one of Rey’s monitors and she quickly changed windows to read: HUBBLE TELESCOPE ALERT: METEOR SHOWER TRAJECTORY UPDATE. ENTER PASSWORD TO CONTINUE.

Rey smiled and typed until WELCOME BACK PROFESSOR ERSO appeared on her screen. Even the proudest fathers should know better than to use their daughter’s names and birthdays as their passwords, when so much information was publicly available.

A few command strings later, Rey sat back in her chair. ‘I didn’t know meteors could change speed and direction. How about you, Flighty?’ she said, addressing the orange-clad doll she’d fashioned for herself years before, which still sat by her computer monitor.

Flighty didn’t answer. He’d always been a sceptic.

It didn’t matter to Rey – it was really happening! She quickly downloaded the last known coordinates of the ‘meteor’ and ordered herself an Uber.

An unauthorised landing, right near her at Luton Airport. This time she was going to meet her destiny.


	3. Chapter 3

LONDON

Rey took the Uber to Someries Castle, a half-collapsed red brick ruin to the south of Luton Airport. It was a great place to hide a UFO landing, Rey had to admit – rural, relative to the other London airports but with plenty of cover to hide unexpected landings.

The castle was halfway up a country lane full of potholes so the driver refused to take her all the way, leaving Rey to walk the last of the distance cursing under her breath and trying to regain signal on her mobile.

When she arrived, a barbed wire fence separated her from the castle. Signs bolted to the wire read DANGER – KEEP OUT and behind it, it looked as if a wall had collapsed. There was no sign of any activity at all: no cars, no men in black and definitely no illegal alien spaceship. Just a few pigeons picking at the ground between her and the castle.

Rey sighed. Frustration washed over her – she’d been so sure that this time she’d find them!

‘DAMN IT!’ she shouted, startling the pigeons which erupted into flight away from her towards the castle and…

And into _nothing_. They seemed to pass through some kind of barrier she couldn’t see and then she couldn’t see them any more, either. Just the castle, behind them, the fence between her and where they’d been, and the signs warning her away.

Rey smiled. They’d never built a fence or a wall yet she couldn’t climb. She pulled her jumper sleeves over her hands and made quick work of the fence, then paused before where she’d seen the birds disappear. She was about to find out if she’d been right or if this had all been some strange dream.

She closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and walked through the barrier.

Opening her eyes, the world before her had changed. ‘I knew it,’ she whispered to herself.

The castle, although still a ruin, no longer looked as though it were collapsing. Instead, right in front of her, was a spaceship. A real live spaceship! She took cover behind a partially-standing wall and heard the green alien (a real alien!) speak – although the language was nothing she’d ever heard.

The MiB agent seemed to understand, though, as the response was, ‘Yeah, yeah, tell it to O at headquarters. I’m taking you in.’

‘Yes, yes you are,’ Rey muttered to herself. There were only two agents and their focus was entirely on the alien: it was easy enough for her to slip into the boot of their black car and gently close it over herself.

The arguing in the strange language continued until Rey finally heard what sounded like a taser and the car began to rock. Holding the boot closed, Rey held herself as still and quiet as she could, waiting for the car to move or for the boot to be opened angrily and for everything to come crashing down.

The sputter of the engine was the sweetest sound she’d ever heard.

 

 

* MiB *

 

 

CHICAGO

At the back of the famous Green Mill jazz bar is a room built as a private gambling den for use back during prohibition. It is every bit as secret and exclusive today as it was then, though the clientele has changed. Since Virgil took it over, the members call it Canto Bight.

By this time of night, most members had gone home. There was only one table still occupied, and only five players remaining. One was Virgil, the owner: a balding man who looked as though he might have been a diplomat by the cut of his suit, but whose eyes were ice cold.

Another was a tall human man with shaggy dark hair, a long face and deep, sad eyes. You could tell just by looking that something had happened to him, something that had wounded him deeply.

Kylo Ren might be wounded again now, if he lost this game.

At the centre of this table was a cage, which held a three-headed viper. Kylo had never seen one before, but recognised it as one of the most venomous creatures in the whole universe. It was coiled up and angry, its heads hissing at the various players. Beneath it were mah-jong tiles. If the players wanted tiles, they had to reach into the cage.

A Japanese gangster, arm covered in tattoos, was slowly inching his arm out of the cage, his fingers clutched around a red dragon tile. Three sets of viper eyes watched him, unblinking. He started to relax as his fingers reached the edge of the cage – which was when the viper struck. The player gasped and jerked his hand out of the cage, but his wrist was already swelling up and it was mere seconds before he started foaming at the mouth. The other four – Virgil, his girl, some guy with a red plom bloom on his vest and Kylo – watched as he gurgled and fell to the floor.

‘Looks like I might have need of your services after all, Mr Ren,’ Virgil said. He indicated over his shoulder and two large bodyguards dragged the convulsing corpse away.

Kylo didn’t even look at it. ‘You know what I’ve come for,’ he said.

‘I do. It appears to be your turn,’ Virgil replied, indicating the cage.

Kylo looked at Virgil as though seeing through him. Then, smooth and fearless, he slipped his hand inside the cage and plucked a tile from the floor and pulled it out. The viper came nowhere near him.

‘I believe that’s Nine Gates,’ Kylo said, laying the tiles out in front of him. ‘I win.’

Virgil seemed as though he was trying to smile but it looked far more like a sneer. ‘I suppose you do.’

‘So let’s do business,’ Kylo said.

Virgil pursed his lips and signalled to the bodyguards, back from their disposal mission. ‘I realise I did make certain promises. And you have met the conditions, I’ll grant you that.’

Kylo scowled. ‘We had a deal.’

‘And I am altering it. You see,’ Virgil said as his bodyguards pinned Kylo to his chair, ‘I have a strict no Men in Black policy.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you everyone who's read and commented! Have a longer chapter :)


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